the one where she complains

These past two weeks have been literal weekS from hell and I’m here to complain about it. (Also I needed a blog post for this week so here it is)

School is stressing me out. With professors who refuse to adapt to the technological world, it’s frustrating when you are trying to do your assignments or even study but your professor refuses to even upload the PowerPoint. I’m having to create sculptures like real-life sculptures that take hours to make and most days I feel like I just never have any time to breathe.

I’m trying to keep up on posting on my Instagram because truly it is one way I get to take a break from life itself, and I’m also trying to keep up with my blog. I love posting reels and photos on Instagram because it is like a break from what I actually need to be doing but it’s so hard to keep up with posting especially on my blog. I love writing for my blog because it’s my public journal that I can post anything I want but writing posts, taking pictures, editing and so on it’s a lot of work. I plan on doing what I can for what I love but I also plan on taking a break when necessary.

To add insult to injury my car decided to break down this week so that felt great. On my way to class this past Monday my car broke down while I was at a light and started to roll backward which was terrifying. Thankfully I was able to stop it and move my car into a gas station which I broke down in front of.
On top of that, I’ve been having panic attacks constantly and I don’t know why.

The worst part about having anxiety attacks with no good reason is that you begin to obsessively try to find a reason for the anxiety attack which then creates more anxiety. I definitely will be speaking to my therapist about this, this week.

And let’s not forget work where I have to deal with the craziest customers for 8 hours a day. I only work the days I don’t have classes but it feels like so much more with how much crap I have to put up with while I’m there. I’ve worked probably four retail jobs since I’ve started working and I can hands down say that with this job these are the worst customers I have experienced. I’m arguing with customers every day. And the hours are brutal, by the end of a shift my feet hurt, my back hurts, even my fingers hurt.

And then I have no friends so I have no one I could speak to other than my mother and half the time she doesn’t even listen so I’m just talking to myself.

My question to those who are holding it together is, how the hell do you not sink? Because right now I’m like Jack from titanic is going deep.


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